Last year at this time we had one goal, to make it to Ryan and Elizabeth’s birthday. We accomplished that goal and watched Ryan celebrate Young, Wild, and Three. This year I get to watch my baby turn 4 years old and it’s so painful that I’ll be alone. It’s such an odd feeling to celebrate my daughter’s birthday and my wife‘s birthday on the same day and have so much sorrow mixed with joy. Elizabeth had the best present she could ask for, birthing her daughter on her own birthday. A bond and present most don’t get to experience but as the day gets closer, the conflicting feelings grow stronger.
I love planning Ryan’s birthday and watching her get excited about it. At the same time it’s stressful and difficult. I feel I must keep the attention to detail and structure that Elizabeth made look so easy. We shared the ideas and responsibilities and it gives me a type of comfort to continue her planning skills even though I feel like I am lacking at times. I just hope I continue to grow to be able to provide the excitement that Elizabeth would provide. I never wanted to believe last year was going to be the last one even though I knew it. Two days before Elizabeth’s 37th birthday she decided to stop all treatment. I can still feel the anguish in that conversation. I always had a sliver of hope and she always wanted me to hang on to it.
So this birthday I’m trying to pick up the pieces of a broken person and keep Elizabeth’s party visions alive. Ryan is ready to celebrate with family and new friends she has acquired from school. She has talked about her party for weeks and her friend list continues to rise. Her eyes get bigger as each day passes and she is ready to transition to being a 4 year old. Enchanted FOURest is this year’s theme and I’ve enjoyed putting party plans together. Of course I have needed some help with somethings too but it has been fun.
I owe so much to Elizabeth as she continues to teach me in so many different ways. I am so blessed for having Ryan, she keeps me grounded, shows me compassion, and she makes me feel wanted. Happy Birthday to my two loves that I will forever live for.
Let There be Fight 
You’re doing a great job Mike! Don’t ever sell your self short.
You’re doing amazing. Glad you continued to keep the blog as I have enjoyed reading Elizabeth’s journey. I’ve always thought that was so cool Elizabeth and Ryan has the same birthday. I wish Ryan a Happy Birthday! I’m sure she will enjoy it.
I’ve been missing Elizabeth today. Her birthday is on my calendar so I’ll always remember it. I’m so sorry this is how the story turned, we will all miss her always. Wish i could lighten your load somehow. You’re doing an amazing job as a dad, even on your hardest days. Elizabeth told me once how healing to her your relationship was and how much she adored you, I know Ryan will continue to thrive with you as her dad through the years. Praying for you both, and holding Elizabeth’s memory with you always. I didn’t get to know her as well/long as i would have liked, but she meant and means so much to me. I still stop by her gravesite when i can and take some time to remember her and pray for y’all.
Michael~ we’re sure that Elizabeth, as well as her family (us and others) are very proud and thankful for you and the love and stability you are providing for Ryan 🤗💖. She’s in very good hands! If you need a woman’s opinion on anything, your sister Bethanni and Nicole are also a wonderful support! You’re doing great! We love you and Ryan!💜♥️
Take Care ~ Uncle Jimmy & Aunt Janet